Blarney Castle and Kilkenny: The Differences between Aging Men and Women and The Struggles with Keeping the Lights Out

 The problem with being slightly beyond middle-age and in relatively good health, is that you think you can do a lot more than you really can…particularly if you are a man.  Case in point, kissing the Blarney Stone. Legend has it that if you kiss the stone, you will become filled with both eloquence and confidence. For those who have never experienced “this privilege,” I can tell you that Rick Steves described the event as having hundreds of people each day leaving  “spit and lipstick” all over it. As if that wouldn’t be enough for anyone with half a brain to be dissuaded from moving forward, the calisthenics that have to take place to achieve the goal includes lying on your back, hanging upside down, holding on to two bars while suspended in thin air. Twenty years ago, Bob and I both did it, clearly not having read Rick Steves take on it.  But we were a lot agile back then and the “A” word (arthritis) only applied to our parents’ medical woes, not ours. Those days of bending backwards —even a little bit—are over and that’s why Judy and I decided to walk around the Castle’s gardens.  

Our husbands decided differently.  

For 45 minutes, as part of a long line, they slowly climbed to the top of the Castle, all to experience the big kiss.  They described that once they reached the top, things began to move quickly. The Blarney Stone “attendant” first got Mark on his back, pushed him forward and told him to lean back and hang on. Contact was made, and then it was Bob’s turn.  Somehow, when they were leaning their heads back to kiss the stone, both men scraped their foreheads on the magic rock. When they explained what happened, they called their injuries their “Blarney Stigmata.” 

In their description of the events, we asked them why they just didn’t lean over and kiss the stone and not, at more than 70 years old, contort their bodies in a way they were not meant to go? They told us that the attendant and his photographer partner were “all business” and there may have been a riot from fellow prospective rock kissers if they even tried to buck the system.  The good news is that since both men successfully kissed the Blarney Stone, Bob will now have the confidence to achieve his lifelong ambition to be the new center-fielder for the New York Yankees and Mark will finally achieve a 4.2 handicap and become the new pro at his golf course! (What a bunch of Blarney!)

By the way, the gardens were lovely, and Judy and I left Blarney Castle stigmata free.

Hotel technology is also becoming too advanced for the average aging traveler. I am not terribly technologically savvy but I have known how to turn lights on and off for over six decades. That appears no longer to be the case. 

We arrived at a nice hotel in Kilkenny and were told that our rooms were being upgraded to their brand new suites. We thought that was a lovely gesture and when we opened each of our room’s doors, we were quite surprised when the curtains magically opened and all the lights were turned on. Our surprise was short-lived because we couldn’t figure out how to close the curtains or turn the lights off, and keep them off! Every time we moved slightly, another bulb somewhere began to burn brightly. Yes, there were a lot of buttons with little pictures in various locations in the room that we thought were for turning out the lights but none seemed to be linked to helping us accomplish our ultimate goal in going to bed in a dark room. 

Later that night, I had fallen asleep while Bob was watching television.  All of a sudden, I woke to the curtains opening and shutting and ALL the lights in the room going on! I rolled over to see Bob pushing buttons ( and cursing) attempting to regain the darkness. He finally succeeded only for the lights to again turn on a little later when he rolled over (apparently with too much gusto) in bed. I understand that the hotel was well-intentioned in trying to make sure guests have enough light to see while in their rooms, but trusting each of us to put on a light when we enter one of their rooms does not seem to be too much of a hardship.  Plus, it will guarantee a better night’s sleep for any visitor who wants the room to stay dark when moving in bed or heading to the bathroom!

Our last stop…Dublin!