The Turkish Baths and the Clampetts Make a Guest Appearance









 In our last day in the Yorkshire town of Harrogate, we decided to take advantage of what the town was famous for, and go to the Turkish Baths.  Apparently, in the 1800’s, sulfur was detected in the town’s drinking water and as such a combination was known to be excellent for healing and for medicinal purposes, the town became well-known by the British aristocracy to heal whatever ailed them. In sum and in short, it was a vacation destination for the wealthy. We learned that the experience consisted of moving between moist and dry saunas and then cold plunges in a pool, which was sold as being extremely relaxing.   There is so much to unpack in preparing for and actually taking advantage of this experience.  

First, I don’t really like the idea of  “plunging” into cold water.  We have a pool in our backyard and I usually don’t get passed my knees because I think the water is too cold. And then there is the appropriate dress, or lack thereof.  Fortunately, bathing suits are required in this blessedly proper establishment, but to be honest, other than family, I am at an age where wearing a bathing suit, even amongst good friends, should be avoided at all costs.  I don’t even like looking at, what I call my ever-present cottage cheese-like dimples that are now a permanent part of my upper thighs or the “bat wings” under my arms that no amount of daily hand weight lifting seem to reduce.  

The baths were in the style of the original Turkish Baths, which were lovely but after a while, getting overheated, causing my glasses to immediately fog up and then walking (no jumping allowed) into a cold pool, did not have the calming effect that was described in the literature.  Plus, there was the whole cottage cheese/bat wing issue that made me self-conscious.  Needless to say, relaxing turned out to be quite a challenge. 

The next day, we were on to York, the capital city of Yorkshire.  On the way we stopped at the beautiful Fountains Abbey and today, we saw Castle Howard, an opulent estate, where many movies and TV shows, including “Brideshead Revisited” have been filmed.

The problem was that our “Too much luggage, too little car” again reared its ugly head.  We had bought just a few items since arriving, but when leaving Harrogate, closing my suitcase took a bit of muscle and the bulging suitcases that we all seemed to now have were not cooperating when we tried to shove everything in the car.  Of course, Judy and I had to again drive all over Yorkshire holding the cover from the trunk, or “boot” as it is called here.  We could handle holding the cover, assuming our driver (aka one of her husbands) didn’t hit the breaks and decapitate us, but we soon began to panic when we pulled in to our lovely new hotel and Judy and I had to perform our gymnastics and get out of the backseat.  All I can say is, it wasn’t pretty. Our doorman, elegantly dressed in a top hat, a morning jacket and a red tie and vest, welcomed us but realized we couldn’t respond until he first remove the trunk’s cover from our laps so that we could begin the process of unfolding our knees from the back of the car. Only after that could we begin removing all our backpacks from the backseat because they couldn’t fit in the boot. When our suitcases, backpacks and a few shopping bags were in a big pile on the steps, all I could think was that the Clampetts are back on the road and have just arrived in York….

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