The Last Leg of our Cruising Journey: Windmills and Men’s Fascination with Pockets and Zippers

 This morning, we arrived at our final destination, Amsterdam. Even though we are in the “ready to go home” phase of the journey, we didn’t want to miss the opportunity to again visit the Anne Frank House (no one should come to this city and miss this unforgettable experience) and stop for a traditional Dutch pancake, which sounds innocuous, but is anything but, as whipped.cream is almost always a big part of its presentation. 

Yesterday, we went on a tour of Kinderjink, a small town in the Netherlands that is a UNESCO Heritage sight due to the town’s centuries-old windmills and their role in “water management.” Our guide explained that if it were not for these windmills, in just three months, the land in which we were standing would be flooded over by water.  This very knowledgeable guide also explained the complexities of how windmills worked.  I don’t know if it was because we are nearly at the end of the trip or that I am losing my ability to follow complex explanations, but I honestly could not follow how those things functioned.  The only thing that made me feel better was when I asked Bob if he was able to follow what she was explaining, and he said, “All I know was that the water was first in the front of the windmill and now it is in the back of it.” Suffice it to say, that if Bob and I were windmillers, (FYI, windmillers and their families still live in them!) our land would be under water in 90 days! 

In the 12 days that our group has been together, besides discussing our daily agenda, the huge amounts of chocolate we have consumed and what’s on the menu for dinner, we have talked a lot about our friend Bob’s  “ScotteVest.” (www.scottevest.com) I had never heard of this vest, but since our first day of the trip, the men have discussed this piece of apparel more than many of the sights that we have visited.  Why? Because it has nearly too many pockets with zippers to count! Apparently, the “Pocket Science” (the phrase used on the website, not my phrase) of the vest allows a man to carry nearly his entire life with him at all times.  While the website makes a compelling argument why every man would want to buy a $199 vest that has absolutely no insulation, our friend Bob, single-handedly, has convinced every man that has seen his multiple demonstrations, that this vest is a “must have” Christmas present.  Bob has excitedly described how the vest contains a pocket and zipper for a passport, sunglasses, a wallet, two smart phones, a camera, a water bottle that will remain vertical to avoid spillage, an RFID pocket (I had to look that up), a “mad money” pocket, an attached keychain, an attached eyeglass cleaner AND a back pocket lined with plastic (for easy clean-up) that can fit a duck should the ScotteVest owner successfully shoot and kill one while hunting.  

Truthfully, I was “in” until the back pocket.  I asked our ScotteVest-loving friend, a retired neurologist, whether or not he had ever been duck hunting, and not surprisingly, the answer was “No.” Nevertheless, he was non-deterred about the merits of this wonderful purchase.  The jury’s out as to whether Santa will be bringing one for my Bob, as he has never even held a loaded gun, let alone shot and killed a duck. 

Until next trip….