A French Wine River Cruise: HIPAA, Sparkling Water and a Misplaced Letter “I”

 I usually begin the first blog of one of my journeys focused on providing a recent medical update, usually regarding the travails of my aging feet and/or sore knees and/or what I have packed to ensure that I am taking advantage of the ever-narrowing “window of opportunity” to not dress like an old lady while traveling. 

The initial focus of this blog is a little different. The good news is that in two days, my husband, Bob and I are leaving for a wine cruise with my sister and brother-in-law up the Saone River in southeastern France. (No, it’s not a “Viking” cruise for all of my fellow PBS fans, but one of its competitors). The bad news is that up until Wednesday, we weren’t sure we would be able to go because Bob has been quite sick for nearly a month.

 In describing Bob’s medical problem, I will do my best not to completely violate the “Health Insurance Portability and Accountability Act of 1996,” or HIPAA. Bob feels I don’t take this law seriously because since becoming sick, I have shared his medical situation with, in his opinion, too many people, in direct violation of the law—or so he says. Jokingly, I told him that I thought “HIPAA” was a female hippopotamus but he did not see the humor in my attempts at comedy. I can tell you that he spent 12 days in the hospital and while much improved, he still tires easily.  On Wednesday however, he was given clearance to go to France with no restrictions except for one—no drinking. 

As head family cheerleader, I told him that not being able to drink alcohol on a wine tour was an “A” problem because we were going to a beautiful country and we would see and do amazing things and that the French food alone would  be worth the trip. After telling me I was too upbeat, he said that this will be the most expensive “sparkling water” cruise in history. In solidarity with his medical situation, I offered not to drink any of the wines we would be tasting on the trip, but he told me that I would need to drink enough wine for the both of us.  I think I’m ready for challenge. 

For someone who travels frequently, I still get anxious when I experience a travel snag.  My uneasy stomach over the last 24 hours is strong evidence that I am in the midst of such a snafu. For the most part, we usually make our own airline flights when traveling. There is nothing like wheeling and dealing with United Airlines in obtaining the best fares using the least amount of points. This vacation however, had someone else at the reservation wheel. Because we are going as part of an organized trip, the travel agent overseeing the group made our flight arrangements which has since led to me needing multiple Tums today.

When I got married, I took my husband’s last name and used my maiden name, a long Italian name with a panoply of vowels in place of the middle name I was given at birth-Ann. As my parents had no sons, I thought it was a nice way of keeping my father’s family name alive for one more generation.  I should have stuck Ann. Because of the array of vowels, the travel agent inadvertently put the letter “I” where an “A” was supposed to be, giving me an entirely different name. The matter was made worst because I didn’t find the mistake until 72 hours before the flight! Yes, calls were made but United said that I would have to rectify the problem upon my arrival at the airport.  

In my mind I know that this cannot be the first time such a mistake has happened to a traveler with one of their names consisting of an abundance of vowels—or even consonants. I also know that all of my personal information already supplied to United Airlines lines up with me, the person with an “A” in her middle name and not an “I.” But just dealing with this problem so close to the beginning of our vacation is causing me a great deal of “agita.” (Just to note—even this simple five-letter Italian word has three vowels!)  Twenty-first century airline travel is stressful enough—who wants to have to prove you are who your ticket says you are!? 

If this is the only blog for this trip, you will know that the “I” won and I will not have had the opportunity to get on the plane and consequently on the ship and drink my family’s worth of wine! Keep your fingers crossed!